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Love Wins

1/16/2017

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Leaving behind the painful parts of the past, pressing into a hopefilled future, but ultimately learning to enjoy and embrace the present - that's how Love Wins!!

​Standing on the edge of a cliff with hurricane like winds challenging my position, I held onto my daughter Katy; but I didn’t shift because love had called us to this new place.

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My oldest son Jonathan had meet the love of his life in March; she has also became one of our great loves. So we found ourselves in December -  in the beautiful desert mountains of Nevada, on the edge of a cliff making vows to become one. While Elvis sang, we laughed, the minister challenged, and the winds blew – love beckoned us to become one. The Campbells and Evans joined together, becoming a bigger and better clan.

After a year of great personal family loses, love stood triumphant again. But to quote my friend Nancy “That’s what love does!” Love doesn’t seek its own. It doesn’t always promise comfort, but it does promise hope. Relationships are sometimes challenging and hard, but always necessary. God said “Let us make man in our image”. Our -  being the operative word; the only thing eternal is relationships. All the stuff we work hard to acquire, protect, and save will all pass away. But relationships will go on forever. During this next year, let us see with unveiled eyes the true treasures we possess, our families and friends as the wonderful relationships with which we have been gifted…..
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So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.                                         
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies.
I Corinthians (the Message)
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The Circle of Life

10/17/2012

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In a kind of crazy turn of events, yesterday I found myself trying to reconcile things for my late husband William's memorial.  The odd thing about the day was that thirty years ago I was frantically getting ready to run down an aisle at a church. An aisle, where William waited patiently to catch me and make me his.

I had stayed up all that night finishing my dress- after I had finished all the flower girl dresses, flower arrangements, and so on and so on - in a very Debe Santos-esque fashion.

On that day, thirty years ago,  I was running headlong into change. I was changing my address, my last name and even my vocation. I had just spent 1 year in preschool, 6 years in elementary, 3 years in junior high, 3 years in high school and 5 years in college. Now I was fully equipped for life!

But the reality was that my education was just really beginning again,  at a higher level. The circle of life does not exist in a flat plane, but in a three dimensional spiral that continuously brings us to another level. Like the helix of our DNA, we don't look back at our life, we look down at the spiral staircase that has become our foundation to bring us to each new place.

Who ever would want to pick out a memorial for a loved one? No one that I know. It is an indication of loss. But it also indicates great love and connection. These connections don't really end, (we will meet again in glory) but they do change. I have not ever found change to be easy. But the embracing of change is necessary, not to eliminate pain, but to celebrate connection, purpose and courage. It takes courage to face life and keep moving onward and upward on this staircase of life.

But we are not alone, just like Apostle Matthew, Jesus beckons us to come and follow Him. And we have a host of loved ones cheering us on; as we sell houses, give away cherished items or even pick out memorials. 

So onward and upward we go, building on our past and embracing our future.



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Happiness -- the house I live In!!

7/13/2012

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Happy is that people, whose God is the Lord! Psalm 144:15

What a freeing truth to be able to walk in… Our happiness isn’t and shouldn’t ever be dependent on another person’s actions or inaction, physical possessions or positional status.

Jesus said that no man could take His life, but He willingly laid it down - for us.

Jesus died that we might have life and have an even more abundant life. He came suffered, bled, died and resurrected in order for us to be returned to wholeness. The season for living a fractured life and lifestyle is over…if we choose it to be.

We are told that we are to love our neighbor as ourselves….We must first love ourselves. This is not a narcissistic love, but a self-love acknowledging our short comings, while we learn to grasp God’s great love and care for us.

When we were yet imperfect -- far from God, Jesus died for us, took our place. He that knew no sin became sin for us, so that we, who knew no abundant life, might know abundant life….

Today is the day….to move on…to live on….to be at peace with yourself and the world. Whatever or whoever you have thought might have the power over your happiness, I want to challenge you to reexamine the situation. Let God be Lord in your relationships, your finances, and your asperations….

Then happiness will not be an unattainable state, but a house in which you can live! 

 

Learning to Love Myself

 
You held love outside the reach of me


You held it out, out over the balcony

I found myself striving to touch your love

 
Far outside of what I could touch

I was leaning, leaning, leaning too much

I felt gravity grip my heart

 
And giving into the pull

I feel like a fool

For I fell from that high high ledge

 
That is when I found myself--

In a heap of sorrow--a mound of mess

My heart scratched and bloody and bruised

 
That is the place--

Where I had to face--

The reality, I only could choose
 

That I must first find a love for me--

Not centered upon an unrealistic need--

For I know, I will never leave myself

 
For I alone must begin--

This journey of giving again--

Love to my own broken heart

 
For no one else can give, what I do not possess

So possess I will, as I learn to heal--

I am not bitter- or angry- or mad

 
I forgive with grace-- as I arise from this place

And learn to love myself

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Leaving A Mark of Abundance

2/16/2012

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As many of you know,  I was involved in a motor vehicle accident 12 years ago while on a mission trip in Mexico. I had to have part of my leg amputated in Mexico, and the other leg totally reconstructed. Six years later, my husband (48 yrs. old) graduated to glory….

Dealing with tragedy and life’s idiosyncrasies have seemed to be a forced pastime of mine. Looking back, not in a state of regret, but in analyzation (those who don’t learn from history get to repeat it), I am determined to not just adjust to the discomfort of life (also known as PAIN), but face the root causes of the challenges and learn from them.

Jesus said "in this world you will have tribulation (trouble), but be of good cheer , I (Jesus) have overcome the world"…Be of good cheer – The mark of an overcomer is not just finishing the race with gritted teeth…but a life marked with daily good cheer. John 10:10 says He (Jesus) came to give us life---not just a regular life….but an Abundant Life.

Abundant life and a tribulation infused life are not two separate lives….they are just life --our present life. The life we live NOW. Jesus didn’t come to bring us a life of trials…that was His observation of what was already in existence &  evident in a world that had not been fully restored to God’s original intent—a life marked with access to God’s presence, power & provision…

God’s original intent for us was/ is the Abundant Life that Jesus brought to earth. Jesus stands at our hearts door offering it to us---every minute of every day. He not only is the procurer of that Abundant Life, but His spirit…the Holy Ghost actually delivers that Abundant Life to us and through us as we acknowledge our need for it, and our inability to make it happen on our own.

Laying down my self-sufficiency …. Learning to rest in His provision of peace in the middle of storms …Being willing to receive abundance in the time of lack... without working for it—has been(emphasis on past tense) hard for me. But this year a marked goal for my life is to see a free flowing release in my life. I understand that  I don’t need to be in charge of anything except what the Lord gives me to do….Martha, Martha – you are concerned about many things –but Mary has CHOSEN…

I choose  not to allow the cares of the world to come and choke out the destiny and purpose of God in my life….or others around me. Jacob wrestled with God…his thigh was touched…but in His tribulation His named was changed. Jacob became Israel --a Marked change for Good. He changed from Jacob, one who follows upon another’s heel ---to Israel –one who Prevails with God….

I want to live everyday of this year in an Abundant- Prevailing Place. Even though we have hardships, may our walk, like Jacob, leave a legacy trail …..That we don’t just walk away with a limp…but we have a Marked Walk of  Abundance…. living a life worthy of Jesus' sacrifice &  our purpose and calling….

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The Hurt goes away, but the Love never Does!

1/27/2012

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Today is six years....six years since the love of my life changed addresses. He moved from this temporary world, out of my presence, but never out of the reach of my thoughts and feelings.

The time we all have here on earth is such a vapor. There is a vacuum that loss causes, that sometimes wants to pull you backwards. Your heart can yearn so for yesterday....what you had... what you were....back to the comfortable, the familiar....But true love never dies, it is eternal just like we are.

I was at a wedding a few months ago, one of my spiritual sons (who had recently lost his wife in an accident), was having a really hard time being there. He hurt not because of the wedding, but because of the reminiscing. In dealing with loss, the remembering sometimes gets so big, it is hard to breathe...but that is what you have to do, just keep breathing -- grab hold of the memories, hold onto them, and push out all the pain of regret.........

As I watched my "son" in pain, the only consolation that I could give him was -- only people who have known a great love and lost it, can experience that type of pain. Great pain is an indication of a great love. Which would you rather choose, a life without pain or a life full of the promise of love--and the possibility of hurt?

Jesus came to us here -- God in tangible form....because He was seeking to restore a love that was lost. In the book of Hebrews it says  that Jesus was willing to suffer- to endure the shameful, embarassing, painful, humiliating death on a cross-- for the Joy of a Prize...

What could be so precious a prize that Jesus would willingly be publicly stripped, physically destroyed, verbally abused, and emotionally separated from everything and everyone.  The Prize He went after was a Relationship with You and Me!

I was watching Little House on the Prairie tonight. The town "crazy" lady said "hurt leaves...love never does". That is one of the truest things that I have ever experienced. Because today six years after I kissed my husband for the last time, I can say that the hurt has subsided, but the love has never waned.

The earthly loves that we know are just a shadow to draw us to eternal love. Jesus loved/loves us so much that He endured the cross. He experienced incredible hurt so that we could have the opportunity to engage in Heavenly Love. As I reminisce today, I know that William isn't gone, but just in another dimension of eternity. His love & light still bring me warmth, and the hurt of loss never stays more than a moment because the strength of love swallows up the sting of death. In the book of Proverbs it says that love is stronger than death, more jealous than the grave----

Jesus didn't stay on the cross or in the grave, but He rose to an eternal place of strength. He sits today in the Heavens. Hebrews says that those that have gone before us are also in Heaven. They are cheering us on!

Today I miss William, but more than miss him, I rejoice for having so great an experience as love.....even through the hurt of loss. Love and loss haven't scarred me, they have strengthened me to love again.
                                                                Because the hurt goes away, but the love never does!

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Being a watcher--a Mary....

1/3/2012

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Watch night...watchman on the wall... Watcher at His feet ....Can you not watch with me one hour?

What are we watching for? What is the agenda? More importantly, what is His heart?

Mary the mother of God stood in a crowd of discontented people watching Jesus and directing people to listen & do what ever He said....
Mary, lazarus' sister sat at the feet of Jesus while Martha buzzed around doing the obvious, the practical.....still Mary watched....she waited ...for a word, a nod, a leading


My good friend Dr Clarice says don't start a work without a word... I know this to be a God truth,  but I still find myself moved by human sympathy instead of Godly compassion..

Human sympathy is not evil...but it is not miraculous--it is based upon my own strength and my own supply. The people of Babel were able to build an incredible tower...but it wasn't God directed...it had the essence of success because it was grand, but was it Great?

Was what Martha doing  evil...no, but Jesus said Mary chose the best, the greatest....choosing the best is choosing  not to be busy with doing, but choosing to be fully engaged in the watching & waiting for His leading--a life dependent on being saturated in His presence---atuned to his voice....so acquainted to a certain sound that nothing can distract you from the course of being about your Father's business---in that place is the miraculous- because proximity to His presence is power.

We can be fully engaged in relationships...listening not only to people.. but listening to God's direction on how we can add to a relationship .. We can be true watchers who aren't just building a tower or our own kingdom, but listeners who grab words then turn them to actions-- actions that have the taste and touch of the miraculous --that lead to an injection of Gods presence into an ordinary situation...then we are ordinary people doing extraordinary things!
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A Resting Place Called Now!

12/29/2011

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Being in business has always been a slightly  risky place for me. Always feeling like you are teetering between the two worlds of lack and plenty. My late husband had the spirit of an adventurer, while I  on the other hand was the action manager, a doer, a get-it done person. I think that is why I relate to Peter so well. But just like Jesus calls us to follow him, I think He wants us to leave more than just a place, He wants us to leave our way of doing things. He came in order that we can reroute our brain with His kingdom mindset.

While my husband and I were in business-- cash-flow or the lack of it was always an issue. One particular instance I remember the funds were lacking and just like the disciples needin to feed five thousand mena and women, I didn't see where it was going to come from. We needed ten thousand by Friday--once again....And my mind was racing to make an earthly way. That is when my husband said to me " So you think He is not going to give you the answer this time?".

It was a question that I have heard echo many times since then. Do you think that the God of the Universe, who created you for His pleasure, is going to keep any good thing from you--if you seek Him?

Many months before we were visiting Wm's family and helped remodel their kitchen. We took a small break & went shopping....I stopped at a store and saw an outrageous metal piece of wall art with a man holding a coffee cup over his head...it was almost $500. I said 'the only way I would buy that is if I had all the money in the world"...well I got home that Tuesday 4 months later and there was a UPS box at my door..I opened it & it was that lamp...God spoke to me & said "I have all the money in the world" .

So now when I get in a jam...they seem to keep coming....I turn on that lamp and realize that I can rest, not in my comings and goings, but in His call for me to follow HIs lead--knowing He will provide--He can pull a coin out of a fish, divide bread for 5000 or turn water into wine. I can REST in His call and my hearing and heeding that call---because His call is not a journey to somday, but a resting place called NOW.

Is God good, does He want good for you? That is the true place of rest for any Christ follower. Foxes have holes, birds have nests, and we can rest knowing that God is multiplying bread and fish for us, if we sit and wait on Him to do it.

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Tis the Season

12/16/2011

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Tis the season.....For many it is the best of times, for some it is the worst of times. But the truth is that at any given time we can choose to see as God sees...He sees all things finished and complete.

He has an ultimate purpose in mind--You and I --whole, healed, and enjoying all He has for us.

I love what it says in Psalm 56 ....that I may serve God and enjoy life! To me that it what this season is about, not what I can or cannot give....but what I can receive today.....Peace in my earth....where I live...

That's the way I choose to see it today....Why don't you choose with me...cause it is always about making a choice!
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    Debe finds pleasure in experiencing the heart of God in the midst of His people.....

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