Today is six years....six years since the love of my life changed addresses. He moved from this temporary world, out of my presence, but never out of the reach of my thoughts and feelings.

The time we all have here on earth is such a vapor. There is a vacuum that loss causes, that sometimes wants to pull you backwards. Your heart can yearn so for yesterday....what you had... what you were....back to the comfortable, the familiar....But true love never dies, it is eternal just like we are.

I was at a wedding a few months ago, one of my spiritual sons (who had recently lost his wife in an accident), was having a really hard time being there. He hurt not because of the wedding, but because of the reminiscing. In dealing with loss, the remembering sometimes gets so big, it is hard to breathe...but that is what you have to do, just keep breathing -- grab hold of the memories, hold onto them, and push out all the pain of regret.........

As I watched my "son" in pain, the only consolation that I could give him was -- only people who have known a great love and lost it, can experience that type of pain. Great pain is an indication of a great love. Which would you rather choose, a life without pain or a life full of the promise of love--and the possibility of hurt?

Jesus came to us here -- God in tangible form....because He was seeking to restore a love that was lost. In the book of Hebrews it says  that Jesus was willing to suffer- to endure the shameful, embarassing, painful, humiliating death on a cross-- for the Joy of a Prize...

What could be so precious a prize that Jesus would willingly be publicly stripped, physically destroyed, verbally abused, and emotionally separated from everything and everyone.  The Prize He went after was a Relationship with You and Me!

I was watching Little House on the Prairie tonight. The town "crazy" lady said "hurt leaves...love never does". That is one of the truest things that I have ever experienced. Because today six years after I kissed my husband for the last time, I can say that the hurt has subsided, but the love has never waned.

The earthly loves that we know are just a shadow to draw us to eternal love. Jesus loved/loves us so much that He endured the cross. He experienced incredible hurt so that we could have the opportunity to engage in Heavenly Love. As I reminisce today, I know that William isn't gone, but just in another dimension of eternity. His love & light still bring me warmth, and the hurt of loss never stays more than a moment because the strength of love swallows up the sting of death. In the book of Proverbs it says that love is stronger than death, more jealous than the grave----

Jesus didn't stay on the cross or in the grave, but He rose to an eternal place of strength. He sits today in the Heavens. Hebrews says that those that have gone before us are also in Heaven. They are cheering us on!

Today I miss William, but more than miss him, I rejoice for having so great an experience as love.....even through the hurt of loss. Love and loss haven't scarred me, they have strengthened me to love again.
                                                                Because the hurt goes away, but the love never does!

Watch night...watchman on the wall... Watcher at His feet ....Can you not watch with me one hour?

What are we watching for? What is the agenda? More importantly, what is His heart?

Mary the mother of God stood in a crowd of discontented people watching Jesus and directing people to listen & do what ever He said....
Mary, lazarus' sister sat at the feet of Jesus while Martha buzzed around doing the obvious, the practical.....still Mary watched....she waited ...for a word, a nod, a leading


My good friend Dr Clarice says don't start a work without a word... I know this to be a God truth,  but I still find myself moved by human sympathy instead of Godly compassion..

Human sympathy is not evil...but it is not miraculous--it is based upon my own strength and my own supply. The people of Babel were able to build an incredible tower...but it wasn't God directed...it had the essence of success because it was grand, but was it Great?

Was what Martha doing  evil...no, but Jesus said Mary chose the best, the greatest....choosing the best is choosing  not to be busy with doing, but choosing to be fully engaged in the watching & waiting for His leading--a life dependent on being saturated in His presence---atuned to his voice....so acquainted to a certain sound that nothing can distract you from the course of being about your Father's business---in that place is the miraculous- because proximity to His presence is power.

We can be fully engaged in relationships...listening not only to people.. but listening to God's direction on how we can add to a relationship .. We can be true watchers who aren't just building a tower or our own kingdom, but listeners who grab words then turn them to actions-- actions that have the taste and touch of the miraculous --that lead to an injection of Gods presence into an ordinary situation...then we are ordinary people doing extraordinary things!