In a kind of crazy turn of events, yesterday I found myself trying to reconcile things for my late husband William's memorial. The odd thing about the day was that thirty years ago I was frantically getting ready to run down an aisle at a church. An aisle, where William waited patiently to catch me and make me his.
I had stayed up all that night finishing my dress- after I had finished all the flower girl dresses, flower arrangements, and so on and so on - in a very Debe Santos-esque fashion.
On that day, thirty years ago, I was running headlong into change. I was changing my address, my last name and even my vocation. I had just spent 1 year in preschool, 6 years in elementary, 3 years in junior high, 3 years in high school and 5 years in college. Now I was fully equipped for life!
But the reality was that my education was just really beginning again, at a higher level. The circle of life does not exist in a flat plane, but in a three dimensional spiral that continuously brings us to another level. Like the helix of our DNA, we don't look back at our life, we look down at the spiral staircase that has become our foundation to bring us to each new place.
Who ever would want to pick out a memorial for a loved one? No one that I know. It is an indication of loss. But it also indicates great love and connection. These connections don't really end, (we will meet again in glory) but they do change. I have not ever found change to be easy. But the embracing of change is necessary, not to eliminate pain, but to celebrate connection, purpose and courage. It takes courage to face life and keep moving onward and upward on this staircase of life.
But we are not alone, just like Apostle Matthew, Jesus beckons us to come and follow Him. And we have a host of loved ones cheering us on; as we sell houses, give away cherished items or even pick out memorials.
So onward and upward we go, building on our past and embracing our future.
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